My voice got deeper. I don't know why I noticed it today, as it's a gradual thing, but it's cool I guess.
Also, I added some more info over at blog, and a new review page. Whenever I watch something interesting and want to write something about it, I'll put down my thoughts over there.
It's blank as of now, but it won't be when I get motivation to review something.
untitledshiruvi64
ahh sylvie... i love you so much...
yappingshiruvi62
Well, I'm going to talk less. Just to avoid this future that seems to be inevitable unless I shut myself off from others. Holidays are getting closer to finishing and The Dread that constantly looms over me is starting to exit hibernation.
I don't understand why I torture myself like this. Why am I doing this? To go to uni? And study astrophysics? I'm starting to reconsider whether or not I want to do this in the first place. Space isn't as interesting as I found it a year ago. I just want to shut myself in my room for the rest of my life and fantasize about cute anime girls. This temporary NEET life feels so amazing. No responsibilities, no people to care about, no mistakes to be made; It's a life of genuine serenity and I wouldn't prefer it any other way. I love the holidays. I wish it was always the holidays.
Anyway, you shouldn't really compare this "blog" to others. This is mainly just a ranting space to get my thoughts out into words, and a diary for my future self to look back and cringe upon(I'm already starting to cringe at last years blog). I wonder who's actually reading whatever I spew out on a regular basis. Is there anyone actually reading this, at all? I could be shouting into an empty void and I'd be none the wiser. Not that anything I say is worth listening to anyway. I'm not smart and intelligent enough to provide you with anything meaningful. But, I'm hoping to read a lot more books this year. It's one of my New Year resolutions. So, like I said earlier, hopefully I can type stuff and "exude lucidity" in the near future. For now, all you'll get is teeny ramblings. Sorry.
Speaking of New Year resolutions, here they are for 2025:
- Try studying Japanese. Because why not? I'm a filthy weeaboo, and a proud one at that. Maybe in the future I'll branch off to Mandarin or Viet for my mother.
- Like I said above, to read more. Admittedly, this is in part due to Pewdiepie's video for Book Review 2025. What can I say? I really like the guy. I was pretty interested in philosophy anyway, I just required that subtle push.
- Finish off my Anime/manga/LN/VN watchlist. To clear things up, I'm not a "mindless consumer". I believe that an otaku and a "mindless consumer" is very different from eachother. I draw the line between the two at their reason for watching and their love for the medium. A "mindless consumer" watches it and rarely do they scrape anything other than the most surface level message from the show. They watch it because everyone else is, because it's the trendy thing to do, whereas an Otaku watches anime because they love anime. Because they are genuinely interested in Japanese culture, and seek to understand and admire rather than feel obliged to have something to talk about with other robotic drones. And most importantly, because they love cute anime girls.
- To get rid of friends I don't find worthwhile. I feel like everytime I make friends, it always manages to end in a bad way, or I leave on my own accord. I'm giving up. The many friends I had and lost weren't that valuable to me anyway, but I still don't want to go through the process of making new friends just for it to amount to nothing. If I'm to be honest with myself, I'd say I don't really find any friends worthwhile. That's solely my fault, obviously.
- Maybe expand on this website a bit. I want to make some stuff for fun. Maybe a quiz of some sort, I don't know. Whatever I feel motivated to make in the future. I was thinking of making and sustaining an imageboard in a couple years, but I don't know how I'd market it and garner quality users. #####chan already has the userbase I want, so there's no point anyway. This thought is just incase #####chan goes to shit, which I don't think it will unless ##### decides to kill himself.
untitledshiruvi61
I'm tempted to completely disconnect from all social outlets. I just have a vague feeling that I'm going to make another mistake. I'm not a schizo though; I'm just so used to things never going my way, to always be in this constant dread and gloom, that it feels weird for everything to be... slightly less gloomy. I want to go back.
untitledshiruvi60
IBs have lost most of their charm to me. Normiefags continue to permeate throughout and there's really not much we can do about it other than hope they don't find the corners left unexplored. Atleast what I consider to be the crème de la crème of IBs(meaning the only IB that doesn't seem to have been run over by normfags) still seems to be untainted. Hopefully its culture will be left untouched in the coming years.
And as much as I hate 4chan, I can't deny the fact that it is a somewhat-effective containment IB for politics and normies, so I am grateful for its existence in that aspect.
Sylvieshiruvi59
The golden beams of sun shone from the horizon on the large tropical island at full force. Seagulls cawed up above, flying high beyond even the tallest palm tree there. The sound of the waves were as serene and gentle as could be. If it weren't for the heat—which despite the setting of the sun, persisted throughout the evening—, I could've closed my eyes and instantly fell asleep. A fresh coat of orange was brushed along all corners of the sky. The dim sound of a lone car rose and fell as it passed us along the road.
We were slowly strolling along the concrete sidewalk that traced the beach shore, when I could feel her slow, tender grasp upon my hand. I subtly glanced in her direction upon the sudden sensation around my palm. She was... perfect. Her petite figure donned a white sun-dress that softly swayed against the winds. Atop her silver hair was a wide-brimmed sun hat, which I vaguely remember buying for her months earlier. But the greatest thing about her, the thing that gives me hope, motivation, and a reason to keep going, was her subtle, and adorable blush. The blush—whom she was the cause of—, complimented with her awkward downward stare, evoked such a sense of emotion in me that I was speechless. I stood there, frozen in my path.
"Um... Is... something wrong?", she said. The red on her face only intensified the longer our arms stay connected.
"It's... nothing. Don't worry about it."
"Oh... Well... if something's bothering you, please do let me know, okay?"
Despite the 3 years that we've been together, we still find ourselves with butterflies in our stomachs upon any act of intimacy. It was a trait that I loved about her, although I adore all traits of hers, naturally.
"I know, honey. Let's keep going; we're almost there."
After a few long minutes, we finally reached our destination. It was a quiet clifftop, accompanied only by the sound of wind and waves, overlooking the vast navy ocean. The very same clifftop where we first met. A small steel bench sat along the edge, worn down by the battering of wind and rain. I remember, we were just lonely teenagers, lacking any meaningful friends or family. Surprisingly, despite her slight superiority in introversion, she was the one that approached me first.
"...M-May I sit here?", she stuttered. At first, this shocked me, as no one had initiated any sort of discussion with me for the past couple months prior.
"S-sure..."
...I didn't mind her presence. It was unusually calming. Together, in silence, we watched the orange sun touch the ocean. I'll spare you the finer details for now, but in short, she struck up an awkward conversation where we shockingly clicked. It was the very first time where, I could hold a meaningful dialogue without vast amounts of effort on my end, and so we chatted until the sun was no longer in sight.
We slowly approached the bench, which was still standing all these years without any noticeable difference from the first time I ever sat here. As she was about to sit down, I stopped her. This was it. The moment. The moment I'd been living for. My hands were shaking so much that I thought I'd contracted the most severe case of Parkinson's. I could hear my heart pumping louder than I ever thought it could. If this didn't work out how I had hoped it to... Well, I don't know what I'd do.
"W-What is it?" she said, as she looked curiously into my eyes.
Slowly, I pulled out the small white box, and lowered my left knee at the same time. The nervousness was unsurprisingly obvious. My hands were trembling so much I feared the box might fling out in any direction. I felt like I was in slow-motion. With my right hand, I opened it.
"S-Sylvie... Will you... marry me?"
untitledshiruvi58
I wish I was able to exude lucidity in a way that would make others value the words I say. I witness others online conversing in such an intellectual manner that it awes me, and I hope that one day I can become like them. The way they flow their sentences to perfectly convey complicated ideas and textual cadence is fascinating to me. Practicing my ability to communicate with people I find clever and intelligible online is one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place.
untitledshiruvi57
To think that I was so close to being led astray from the path of God by deranged delusions created by degenerates baffles me. I pray that those who fall down such a hole find their salvation not in unholy fantasies, but in Christ.
untitledshiruvi56
In the future, I will adopt a daughter and raise her to the best of my ability, rather than dying a lonely and unfulfilled man.
I will do this because I prefer my existence to leave a lasting mark on this planet, and in this case, in the form of a fair and intellectual maiden.
untitledshiruvi55
I absolutely love Majikoi(the VN)'s artstyle. There's something about it that is just so alluring to me, but I can't manage to pinpoint exactly what it is. I guess you could say it's everything that I find intriguing.
